Wednesday, July 7

you know you want to buy me something. right?

You know what really grinds my gears?

Those e-mail coupons that you get during the month before your birthday.  Seriously.  If I am buying my own presents AND I need a coupon to do it heads are gonna roll.

What is the big idea with these things?  Am I supposed to hand them out to my friends?  That wouldn't be awkward. 

Hey! So my birthday's coming up!

Uh ok?

So, I know you really want to get me something and you are a cheap ass so I thought I would help you out.

Wow!  How thoughtful of you to think of ME on YOUR birthday.

I know right!  That is why I totally deserve something and I don't even care if you use one of these e-mail coupons.  Your choice.


Do you want to save ten dollars off of fifty?  Or 25 off 100?  No pressure.  

Fuck off.

Dude it's my birthday month you shouldn't speak to me like that.  Come on it says right here it's a sweet deal!  

I may be onto something here.  


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