Friday, March 5

Screw you AARP!

I am no Sherlock Holmes, but I am starting to piece together all of the clues that the universe is giving me. 1. I had to use my lunch break to buy Excedrin and Rolaids. The awesome part is that when I got to the store I had to walk around for a while so I could remember what I was there for. Apparently the back pain and heart burn were not enough of a reminder. 2. I fall asleep on my couch at approximately 9:32 every night. Without warning. One minute I am watching a show with my husband. The next thing I know, it's midnight and I am all alone in the living room. Apparently I look very peaceful, so he just leaves me there. Awesome. 3. I quote movies and 21 year olds have no freaking idea what I am talking about. "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" has to be one of the BEST lines EVER. Shouldn't Dirty Dancing be on some sort of watching requirement list for high school? What is wrong with these kids today? The education system is really letting me down. 4. I woke up with a cramp in my calf and a day later I am STILL sore. 5. I got a special offer from AARP in the mail asking me to sign up. Really AARP? This is what the AARP website says about their membership: How to Join AARP It's Easy Anyone 50 or over can get all the great benefits of membership in AARP for only $16 a year. And membership includes your spouse or partner, free! Joining online is fast and secure. You become a member right away and receive your membership number online. Anyone over 50? WTF?! I know they say age is just a number, but this is ridiculous. 6. People don't believe me when I say I am 29. They try to gently nudge me into telling them my "real" age. Screw you! I don't know what AARP has been telling you, but I AM 29. 7. My son is ALREADY telling his friends that I am not cool. Whatever! Like he knows what cool is. You're five! At least I can stay up late and watch TV. HA! Ok I can't really, but if I wanted to I could. 8. I went in for a haircut and my friend who was with me was nice enough to let me know that she could see some grey hair. When I asked the lady that was cutting my hair she says "Oh yeah I see some right here!" Good news! Those weren't even the ones my friend was talking about. So now I have an epidemic of grey hair. My dad always says "I don't care if my hair turns grey as long as it doesn't turn loose" so I guess it could be worse. I'm not saying I am getting old, but things aren't looking too good...

6 comments:

  1. nice, but umm... Dirty Dancing? I had planned that as punishment for when my kids were old enough to sneak out and/or come home late.

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  2. I sympathize with #6. It stopped being fun to have people guess my age when they started guessing in the 30's. And that was a couple of years ago. I'm STILL only 28.

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  3. Murphy you have no taste in the classics. Maybe if you show then Dirty Dancing they won't sneak out.
    Stephanie most of the time I am not even having people guess my age. They just don't believe me. Ridiculous.

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  4. I wish I was 29 again.....try 59!!!!

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  5. that was great!! I enjoyed everything you wrote and of course, I can relate to every bit of it too and then some!

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  6. Thanks Linda! I'm glad you liked it.

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