Here are my top five:
5. They don't know when a birthday card is addressed to them so you can take the cash out of it and they will never know (I would never do this, but I am sure someone has)
4. You and your spouse can spell out delicious treats that you plan plan to eat in the bathroom with the door locked so your kid wont ask for any (unless you have a husband like mine who gets confused and you have to spell something 20 times and end up just yelling the word out anyway)*
3. They can't read menus at restaurants so you are still able to lie and say a restaurant only serves grilled chicken and broccoli instead of burgers
2. You can turn a 20 page book into a five page book. (Unless they really hate you and have memorized the book)
1. When your child calls you into your room because "the remote won't work" and you find this on the TV, you don't have to answer any questions. I'm not even ready to explain where babies come from. Ethan thinks I ordered him off the internet.
I am SO not ready to explain what a Euro slut is and why she is all nude and exposed.
*My husband really can spell. He just gets impatient and tries to guess what I am spelling and the word he substitutes never makes sense.
