Sunday, August 15

do i look like a newsstand?

This morning when I went to retrieve my Sunday paper I got a little surprise.  

I know what you're thinking and you're wrong.  It was not a love letter from the paper boy expressing his undying love for me.  A girl can dream though.  I should note that I have no idea who my paper boy is or if he is even a boy since I am not awake when he/she brings my paper.

I opened the letter and immediately recognized the handwriting.  My fucking neighbor and his ridiculous notes.  At least he didn't have his lawyer contact me this time.  

A few questions came to mind as I opened the note:

1.  Why didn't he just steal the damn paper? 

2.  How early did he get up to leave this note?

3.  Why did my husband subscribe to the paper in the first place?

4.  Can this guy only write in capital letters?

5.  Why did he write his address and then put an address sticker on the letter?  Dude I know where you live.  Seriously.  I really wish I didn't but I do.

6.  What the hell is the Sunday Post?  Is that the whole paper?  A section of the paper?  

If I didn't have to live next to this guy I would leave this on his door.

I really hope this guy moves or runs out of paper soon.


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