Tuesday, March 2

What was THAT?!

I am a magnet for random weird stuff. It is really getting old. I would love to sit in my car at lunch time and not have strangers show me their hospital bracelets and shake their pill bottles at me. I really don't want to hear about your hernia. Really. I don't. Thanks for sharing though. Next time just punch me in the face and steal my purse. I could also do without washing my hands in a bathroom at work and breaking a flower pot while trying to reach for a paper towel. Yes folks I am THAT clumsy. Not only did it break but it did not go quietly, which forced me to make up an awesome story about how it happened. If anyone asks if I practice Karate in bathrooms, the answer is yes. There are mirrors in there to help me with my form. Obviously. How many people do you know that have broken their husband's toe while laying in bed trying to go to sleep? Seriously. I was trying to adjust my leg and instead adjusted a piece of bone off of his toe. Thank goodness he hasn't let me live it down yet. I especially enjoyed the time when a random stranger walked over to me while I was browsing in a store, lifted my pant leg up, and told me how much he liked my shoes. Without another word he was lost in the crowd. Uuuummmm yeah. Obviously someone didn't get the "keep your hands to yourself" memo in pre-school. This collection of douchebaggery moments has all occurred within the last month. Something tells me the rest of 2010 is going to bring more of the same. If you see me around I advise you to hide your fragile items including your bones.

1 comment:

  1. Was this in Portland? I'm pretty sure the shoes guy was Jerry Brudos then



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