Monday, May 17

never play beer pong with a phone while asking for a straight jacket

I recently attended a birthday part in one of the trashiest bars I've been to in a long time.  Apparently I've changed, because I no longer felt at home.

I'll admit it started out totally lame.  I'm grateful for the creepy dancing guy for keeping me entertained until the shots kicked in.  Here are a few of my favorite memories from the night.

1.  Our waitress who was holding our credit cards was popping Vicodin the whole night for a "foot injury"

2.  Another waitress was visibly knocked up and wearing underwear for shorts

3.  A lady old enough to be my great grandmother shared a table with us

4.  The birthday girl ended up on stage several times and had to get removed by security.

5.  I looked like I was in a lesbian gang.  For the record I have no problem with lesbians...just gangs.  So if you are a lesbian and not in a gang...rock on.

My favorite conversation:

Waitress:  Can I get you anything else?
S:  Yeah do you think you can get a straight jacket for my friend here.
Waitress: ????
S:  Yeah she really needs it hahaha
Me:  hahahahaha...yeah she does
Waitress:  I'll see if we can make one
Us: baahaaahhaaaa

She walked away and talked to the bar tender, who immediately started looking up something on his phone.

Me:  hahahaha They think it's a drink.

The waitress limped back over  (I'm guessing the Vicodin was not working)

Waitress:  We don't have the ingredients for that
S:  Oh that's ok...thanks
Bartender:  Is that the one with passion fruit liqueur?
Me:  Yesss!
S:  No, we're okay.  Don't worry about it.
Me:  Now we'll never know if it's real!

Apparently they were not the dummies.  We were.  Thank goodness for google ending the straight jacket mystery.

The ultimate moment of the night was when my friend lost control of her phone and it ended up in my cup of beer.  We both started laughing and high-fived at the pure awesomeness and misfortune of it before removing it.  Probably not a good idea.

Are you wondering what happened to my beer?  I drank it.  Please send penicillin immediately.


  1. who was the old lady???? I don't remember her! and I totally rocked the stage...I'm still crazy after all these years! I thought the atmosphere was right up ther with a touch of biker chicks and carpet bad are group is strickly dickly cause we would have hit the lesbo jackpot!happy birthday to me rock on mother fr's.........

  2. i'm still pissed that you tricked me into believing that you never did anything fun at all and then dropped that image as soon as i was knocked up. Then again, clever move, it's not like you ever have long to wait before i'm knocked up again...

  3. Ingredients to use:
    2.0 shots Cinnamon Schnapps
    1.0 cubes Ice
    1.0 fill Orange juice
    1.0 shot Passion Fruit liqueur

  4. Brenda do not ever say "strickly dickly" on my blog again. Love ya!

    Nicola yes it was

    Murph who said any of that was fun?

    Anonymous Thanks I guess the recipe I linked to was wrong.

  5. guess what i read your blog!!! i told you i would. sorry i missed all the action.

  6. sounds like a typical "brenda" outing. i've seen more things i never thought i should/would see, done more things i shouldn't have done, talked to more strange people than i ever thought possible...all with brenda. there has never been a normal, dull outing with her !!! love it !!!



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