Sunday, June 20

you know you wish you could drive me to my doctor appointments

Everyone knows doctor appointments suck.  Big time.  The only time I go to the doctor when I am supposed to is when I am taking my son in for his check ups.  I like to think of it as putting the health of my son before my own, instead of what it really is...absolutely ridiculous.

In the past two weeks I have been at the doctor for me.  Hooray for being a big girl.  It sucks.  My most recent visit required that I fast prior to my appointment for some blood work.  I totally knew it would be easy and not affect me at all.  

The following outlines why I should not be allowed in public without coffee.  Who am I kidding I shouldn't be allowed in public at all.

8:45   Arrive 15 minutes early for my appointment hoping that I will be seen on time meaning that I will get to the sweet nectar that is coffee sooner rather than later.

8:50   Look through photo album of adorable babies and remember that I will never mother another precious baby. 

8:55   Almost make a lady spit her gum out in my hand, because she doesn't know how to chew responsibly.  I shouldn't hear you smacking your gum from across the room rudeness!

9:02    I am finally alone in the waiting room.  The five people that came after me and "the chewer" have been called back.

9:05    A pregnant lady, her husband, mother, and one year old son arrive for an ultrasound and keep babbling to the kid about how he is going to meet his baby today.  The kid screams at them.  The pregnant lady is skinnier than me.  I hate her.

9:07   The one year old will not stop staring at me.  I wish his parents would tell him how rude he is being.

9:10   I'm alone in the waiting room again.  It takes every ounce of self control not to make an ass out of myself to the receptionist for me not being called back yet.

9:12   I pick up a magazine and realize it's lame and go back to writing this dumb timeline in my phone.

9:15   Finally called back for blood work by a nurse who is unable to stop having a personal conversation with the receptionist when I approach her.  I say nothing since she is about to shove a needle in my arm.  

9:19   Back in the waiting room.  "The chewer" is here!  This has to be like some sort of karma payback.  I look through my purse for something to shove in my ears.

9:25   A different nurse calls me back for an ultrasound of lady town.  

9:27   Sitting on a table naked from the waist down waiting for the ultrasound technician to return.

9:35   Still sitting on the table naked from the waist down waiting for the ultrasound technician to return.

9:37   The ultrasound technician returns and is way too perky.  I bet she had coffee this morning.  

10:10  Appointment is over.  I race out the door to find the nearest coffee seller.

10:20  I try not to make out with the lady at Subway as she hands me a cup of coffee.

It is obvious that I should not be allowed in public without adult supervision.


  1. I love the ultra- sound lady!! we became close friends over the last year....Her ultra sound wand has ventured up the caviy of my whole being.

  2. Lmbo! You should be banned from using the notes app in your iPhone.

  3. The phrase "lady town" was the highlight of your ordeal for me. Thanks for that.

  4. Glad my lady town could be a highlight for you.

  5. Never! I make the most use out of my iPhone. lol

  6. Tell her to call me then and give me my results!



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