Tuesday, November 16

do not tell my husband you heard this from me

I usually don't play games on my phone, but when I find one I like I can't stop.  The other night I was playing a game that involved me being a train conductor.  I felt like Denzel.

In the middle of a very important track change I heard a thud from the bathroom where my husband was showering.  Since I was in the middle of a very important track change I wrote it off as a shampoo bottle falling.

Ten minutes later I was summoned to the bathroom.

Babe!  Get in here and shut the door!

What the hell is going on?  Why are you on all fours in the tub with the shower running?

I fell.  Didn't you hear that loud noise?  I can't stand up.

Yeah.  I was busy.  Wait.  You didn't scream.  Why didn't you scream?

I'm a man!  Men don't scream!

Come on I'll help you up.

No you have to wash me.

It was at this point I started to get very nervous and millions of things started running through my head.  Oh my goodness he broke something!  How am I going to get him out of here?  Did I pause my game?  How am I going to cover his eggroll and dumplings before the paramedics arrive?

Dude.  I am so not washing you.  Do I look like a nurse's aide?

Come  on!

Fine!  I grabbed the loofa-on-a-stick thing and began to wash him like he was a clydesdale.  I can't really reach anything.  How are we going to get you out of here?

Stop interrogating me.

I don't know what is more awkward, washing your husband or explaining to your six year old why you had to wash their father.

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